just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
