sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
try to milk me bitch
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