Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
