When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
