i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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