Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
