I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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