also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
