If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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