I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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