I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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