just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
