it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
