she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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