Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Shame is for Republicans.
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