the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I died a long time ago.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
