just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize