Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
