i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
