Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
