you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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