Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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