Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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