i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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