I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
