I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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