I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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