it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Farmville is her only friend.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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