Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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