Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize