Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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