If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
