I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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