I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
