If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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