I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
