no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
