When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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