i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
