Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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