He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
