Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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