i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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