Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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