I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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