That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
