she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
