just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize