Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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