i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can't turn off my feet"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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