THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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