Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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