don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
