K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
