Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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