i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
