Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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