I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
