just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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