the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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